James Steatham – tour leader
Gary Langford
Sean Prigmore
Andy `Sniffer` Salmon
`Private` Steve Bulman
Steve `Rixy` Day
Ben Moss (`Mossey`)
Rellie
`Maniac` Gareth (sorry I've forgotten his surname but was a friend of Steve's)
Mike Hilder
Paul King
Stuart Lothian
Kieran Humphrey
Julian Waller – non-playing team drinks monitor
Now that I've finished the London Marathon (pb 4hrs and 58secs), I've found the time to pen a few words on the 2002 Merton Easter hockey tour to the 67th Brean Easter Hockey Festival. As last year, everyone who went tells me that it was a great success and there was talk of more ambitious tours in the future.
First the boring bit: the results:
Won 2 Drew 0 Lost 3 GF: 10 GA: 8
Scorers:
Salmon 3, King 2, Steatham 1, Bulman 1, Rellie 1, Moss 1, Day 1
I was pleased to reach the pitch to find that we had a full team. In the previous year John Mitchell, Dave Thompson and Steve Bulman were still somewhere on the M4 and we had to nab a couple of players from another team. We went on to beat the Axemen 2-0 (Day and Sniffer (his usual strike from 6 inches after I had put the ball under the goalkeeper), the scorers). Then the real festival started. At 2pm the first pints were consumed and the drinking would not stop until the early hours of Monday morning! Not ideal preparation for the London Marathon, I thought. Rellie told me he drank 20 pints on the Friday and `did 60 notes`at least and I just remember a never-ending `whip`. On Friday evening a few of us went to the civic reception – there was free food after all! – and joined the rest of the team at the first disco later. I remember trying unsuccessfully to dive off a table and spilling most of the ladies' drinks! (sorry girls ……). Disco finished it was back to the Arosfa Hotel Bar for further drinking and bar games – led chiefly by Debbie Parker (now known as `king-size`!). I crashed about 4am but there were still some hardened drinkers in the bar until 6 or 7am just in time for breakfast!
A few sore heads but our second game was not until 12.45pm so plenty of time to sleep off the hangover. Game was on astro and proved to be a comfortable win by 4-0 (2 for Sniffer (both from a yard!), 1 for King and 1 for Moss). In the second game of the day back on grass we suffered our first defeat by 2-0 to a team who brought a coach (there is always one team that takes these events too seriously) (Kingy was on tour but not in a coaching capacity. He forgot the manual!) Steve and Kieran had by this time disappeared to Plymouth Argyle on some work venture. I think they drank the Director's box min-bar dry before returning to Weston. Steve was now being know as `Graham Rix` or `Rixy` but that's another story or so I'm told. Saturday night and it was back to the disco at the Grand Atlantic where there was some wild dancing from Debbie Parker. Rellie was now close to 50 pints of snakebite! Following the disco it was back to Hotel Arosfa for some more early hours drinking and games at the hotel.
Only one game and hardly anyone at breakfast…we decide on a new formation 1-2-8 with Rellie up front and Sean in goal. We lose the game 5-4 with Rellie scoring and Sean missing a P-flick. The other goals came from King, Private Bulman and me. Steve has still not stopped talking about his goal. Then it was back to the hotel for a Sunday afternoon drinking session. Gary leads the drinking session whilst Steve `my phone is my life` Bulman goes for an afternoon nap and there are rumours that there was a naked man in one of the ladies' bedroom overnight (sleepwalking he claimed – a likely story!). Rellie now close to 60 pints. The evening was filled with a curry and another disco with Rellie singing Robbie Williams and then back to the hotel for more late night drinking.
One game left and nobody was at breakfast …someone got the time of the game wrong and we all hurtle down to the pitch only to find that it is an hour and half later. Some of us find a local café for a late breakfast and then, when we do decide to play, the heavens opened. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valour we come to arrangement with the opposition that the game should be decided on the `golden goal` rule…..and, of course, the inevitable happens: the opposition, with Kieran now in goal, score with their first attack! All over in 30 seconds but who cares?
Overall, it was a great tour. The girls were great and everyone took the chance to let their hair down at the end of a long season. I must thank the Arosfa Hotel and even the aged barman who threatened the police when Rellie tried to dive off the Bar. I haven't given the girls perspective but I'm sure they will let you have their side of events …. especially about naked sleepwalking hockey players. Anyway here's to next year and let's see if we can make it as successful as this by getting an even greater turnout (27 in total this year) wherever we go.
|
Rellie |
80 pints of snakebite |
|
Julian |
70 of everything |
|
Private Bulman |
20 Barcadi Breezers only |
|
James |
45 pints of lager |
|
Sniffer |
45 pints of lager |
|
Gary |
45 pints of lager – mostly on Sunday afternoon |
|
Sean |
40 pints of lager |
|
Steve |
50 pints (includes mini-bar at Plymouth Argyle |
|
Kieran |
50 pints (includes mini-bar at Plymouth Argyle |
|
Ben |
30 pints – went home Sunday |
|
Mike |
50 pints |
|
Stuart |
45 pints |
|
Maniac |
Unrecorded |
|
Paul |
45 pints |
None that I can record.
James Steatham
Tour Organiser 2002